As a foster parent it’s not uncommon to hear one of two phrases

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Patient Stories

As a foster parent it’s not uncommon to hear one of two phrases

Feb 26, 2014
Betsy DuKatz
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Foster and Adoptive Parent

It’s either, “You’re a saint!” or “You’re crazy!” 

Each time I hear these phrases I think to myself, “I’m really neither!”  A saint is a person who is officially recognized by the Catholic Church, as being very holy, because of the way he or she lives.  So, despite checking my voicemail for the last seven and a half years of fostering, there are no messages from the Vatican!

On the other hand, a crazy person is one who is full of cracks or flaws, unsound, crooked, askew, insane or mad. Again, each time we’ve opened our home and family to a child in need, I’ve never felt any of these characteristics.

To me a saint would say and do all the right things, act in a loving, peaceful manner every minute of the day and wear one of those fancy pope hats. 🙂 I haven’t been able to master those areas of my life as of yet.

Likewise, to me a crazy person would have freezer meals planned for the entire year, have every child’s possessions color-coded or at least in rainbow order and get absolutely everything they do in life off Pinterest! I can say right now I will never be able to master those areas!

Somewhere between saint and crazy

In my search for the somewhere between “saint” and “crazy,” I stumbled upon “average” and “normal.”  You see, “average” is the middle point between two extremes and “normal” is ordinary, not strange.  This I felt I could master. It sounded more like me.  I think most people, most days, don’t go to extremes and quite ordinary events happen day in and day out.

Foster parents are no different.  Yes, life will bring the occasional drama and you will get great at scheduling around appointments for therapy, court and doctors. But most days are pretty average, pretty normal.  The EXTRAORDINARY comes in when you stop to realize that you, an average, normal person, have stepped up to rewrite the story of a child … now that’s ABOVE AVERAGE!

Betsy Dukatz

Written by

Betsy DuKatz

Foster and Adoptive Parent

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At any given time, as many as 7,000 children are in foster care in Wisconsin. As the largest provider of foster care programming in the state, Children’s Wisconsin offers high levels of support to foster and adoptive families.