Date rape (1178)

What is date rape?

When someone you know forces you to have sex it is called date rape.  Rape is never the victim’s fault!  Physical force does not have to be used. You could be threatened, intimidated, bullied or drugged.

You may have met the person that night.  You may have been, or may still be in a relationship with the person.  It does not matter how long you know them or what your relationship is. It is a crime if you to have are forced to have sex against your will.  Date rape is often not reported.  The person who was raped may be afraid that they somehow caused it to happen.  Many people may feel shame or be afraid that someone will try to get back at them.  

If you have been a victim of date rape, go to the nearest emergency room after the rape occurs, even if you do not have an injury.

What things do I need to know if I am raped?

• Get to an ER right away.  Some tests are time-sensitive.
• Do not shower or change your clothes before going to the ER.
• You have a right to request an advocate and have that advocate with you during the assessment.

1. Did the person use a condom?
2. Where were you penetrated?

• You do not need to relive or retell every detail of your experience, unless you want to.  The only things you need to tell are:

• You have the right to accept or refuse a rape kit.  A rape kit is used to collect hair samples, swab cultures, blood and urine samples.  Other tests may be needed.  Medicine will be offered.
• You have a right to refuse any medicine or procedure.
• Seeking comfort and support from trained counselors and mental health professionals is very important.  Surround yourself with a close but select group of friends and family.

Call one of these resources in the Milwaukee area for more information or questions:

• CRAY (Collaborative Rapid Advocacy for Youth): 414-800-CRAY (2729)
• Sexual Assault Treatment Center: 414-219-5555
• Children’s  Wisconsin Emergency Room: 414-266-2626
• National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
• If you are not in the Milwaukee area, call the local police department.

What are some myths about date rape?

• I’m a guy, only women are raped.  Men, women, and nonbinary people can consent to sex. People across the gender spectrum can be forced to have sex.
• They were asking for it, the way they were dressed, and flirting.  No one wants to be raped.  How a person dresses or acts does not give another person the right to have sex with them.
• We had sex before, so it can’t be rape.  Having sex with someone before, does not mean that person has the right to have sex with you anytime they want it.
• I didn’t fight back, so it can’t be considered rape.  You don’t need to fight back.  You only need to say no or show you do not want to have sex for it to be date rape.