Can giving your kids chores really predict their future success? Research suggests kids who are consistently expected to participate in household responsibilities gain empathy, social responsibility, self-discipline and problem-solving skills. This means asking your kids to pitch in not only takes some of the load off you, it also gives them the foundation for success as adults. Sounds like a win-win!

So, what’s the best way to go about establishing a family chore plan? Kids will have the most success with household chores when:

• They are part of a family system where everyone contributes, rather than a consequence or a reward
  
  
• Expectations are consistent and clearly communicated
  
  
• Caregivers focus on effort and not perfection
  
  
• Tasks are age-appropriate

Your Family Is a Team

Chores don’t need to be rewarded, and kids don’t need to be paid for doing them. Explain to your children that your family is a team and everyone is expected to contribute to the team’s success. When kids understand that contributing is just what your family does, chores stop being something to negotiate about and simply become something your family does.

Communicate Expectations Clearly and Consistently

Be clear with your children about what chores you expect them to do on a daily, weekly or monthly basis so there’s no room for, “But, I didn’t know …” or, “I thought my brother was going to do that!”

A physical chore chart in a visible location can be helpful for preschool- and grade school-aged children.

Don’t Expect Perfection

View family chores as learning opportunities for valuable life lessons like taking initiative, problem-solving and following through. They will NOT be able to do the tasks as well as you, especially at first — and that’s okay! Teach them how to do the chore and then offer praise and encouragement along the way so they can continue to build their skills.

Assign Tasks Appropriate for Your Kids

There are no universal rules for what chores are appropriate for each age group. While some 12-year-olds can manage making a meal solo, this may not be appropriate for other kids the same age.

Use the following age categories as a starting point but adjust accordingly for your own child. You know your child best.

2-3 Years Old

• Pick up toys put them in bins
• Place books on a shelf
• Put dirty clothes in a hamper
• Throw away trash
• Put shoes in a designated spot
• Clear their own dishes

4-5 Years Old

• Help set the table
• Put away clean silverware
• Dust low surfaces
• Sort and match socks
• Empty their own backpack
• Help pack their lunch
• Make their bed
• Sweep up small areas

6-8 Years Old

• Empty waste baskets
• Feed pets
• Fold towels and washcloths
• Unload the dishwasher
• Sweep the floor
• Help with some aspects of meal preparation
• Clean their bedroom
• Bring in mail
• Take clothes out of the dryer

9-11 Years Old

• Vacuum rooms
• Wash dishes
• Transfer laundry from washer to dryer
• Fold and put away their own laundry
• Load the dishwasher
• Take out the trash
• Pack their own lunch
• Help put away groceries
• Weed the flower and garden beds
• Keep their room clean without reminders
• Wipe bathroom sinks and counters
• Prepare simple meals (depending on maturity)

12+ Years Old

• Change their bed sheets
• Clean bathrooms
• Mop floors
• Clean the kitchen
• Do their own laundry
• Manage their own schedule and homework routine
• Cook some of the family meals
• Wash and vacuum vehicles
• Mow the lawn and participate in yard work

We can help our kids become competent adults while reducing our own load if we focus on the family team, give clear and consistent direction and praise their efforts. Remember, the goal isn’t a job done just as well as you would have done it — rather, teaching our kids that they are capable, responsible and valuable contributors to the family system.