I recently had an eye opening-experience with the biological mother of my foster child. This biological mother, who has been truly difficult, was in the hospital and in a situation where she should have had people who love her there to support her. She had no one. She was alone.

So I went to the hospital to be with her. I may not be the person who should have been there for her, but it was important that someone was there to show her she was loved and not alone.

Sadly, for too long I have viewed her as a villain, as someone I needed to overcome. This situation helped me to see the humanity in her, helped me see that the people in her life have failed her–failed to love her.

A friend recently shared a quote with me from the show Midwife. It went something like this: “Poverty isn’t about poor housing, dirty clothes and families of 10. It’s about never being loved or even respected. It’s about not knowing the difference between love and abuse.”

Tragically, that is the world that many foster kids and their biological parents live in. It’s a world of poverty, the poverty of never knowing real love and therefore never being able to give it. I commit to changing that world for one child, one biological parent at a time.