Parenting is a journey filled with both rewarding moments and unexpected challenges. For many families, finding ways to help manage children’s behavior can feel overwhelming.

Ashley and Mike Meyers know this firsthand. Their 6-year-old daughter, Kimber, once eager to take part in family activities, began having frequent outbursts of anger. She began to pull away from the things she used to enjoy, leaving her parents unsure of how to help.

Ashley describes Kimber as remarkably creative and observant, with a knack for thinking outside the box. “She has a great ability to knock your socks off with her observations and with some of her drawings,” she said.

But beneath that creativity and enthusiasm, something had changed. The shift began after a three-day hospitalization for pneumonia in May 2024. Ashley recounts the disruption in Kimber’s routine and the loss of control she had while hooked to an oxygen mask and IV. This lack of choice and control left Kimber feeling frustrated and angry. And she often expressed these emotions through behavioral outbursts.

Seeking Help

Over the next 18 months, Kimber’s outbursts intensified. And Ashley worried that her own reactions might be making things worse. Searching for help, she came across the Triple P — Positive Parenting Program, offered at no charge through Children’s Wisconsin. Triple P is a research-backed program that provides parents and caregivers with knowledge and tools to better understand and manage their child’s behaviors. It offers practical parenting strategies to promote family stability, well-being and positive reinforcement.

Children’s Wisconsin began offering Triple P to families in 2019.  Since then, the program has expanded to serve families with online resources and individual and group support. Thanks to the investment of Children’s Wisconsin and support from government and philanthropic partners, more families than ever are helping address their kids’ needs.

“I felt like I wasn’t upholding the expectation that I should have as a mother, so I signed up for Triple P to try and change my outlook and my reactions to her behaviors,” said Ashley. “I was hoping to gain some information, with some solid ground to stand on, versus just winging it, which is a lot of what parenting is.”

The Transformation Begins

After enrolling, Ashley teamed up with Nelly Martinez, a Community Health Specialist and Triple P Senior Practitioner at Children’s Wisconsin. Nelly has an infectious passion for helping families. Their one-on-one coaching sessions focused on strategies to help tackle specific behavioral issues. Ashley also received self-guided parenting materials to supplement her telehealth sessions.

“It’s a lot of information, but it’s easy to get through because of the different handouts,” said Ashley. “It's in very simple layman’s terms. And it's very easy to break down the concepts, the strategies and the parenting tips that are given.”

During their first session, Nelly conducted an intake interview. She asked Ashley some questions to understand the challenges she and her husband were facing. She then asked Ashley to track Kimber’s behavior for a week. 

“A behavior diary helps parents see what the problem is, what the triggers are, what patterns there are and how they manage a challenging situation,” said Nelly. “Ashley was amazing. She did all the behavior tracking, and she came back to the second session with all the information.”

Coaching and Learning

Ashley showed a strong commitment to the program. She tracked Kimber's behavior and took part in the suggested activities. She brought this information back to each of their four sessions. Ashley and Nelly would discuss and then use role-play to identify what triggers Kimber's behavior and the patterns behind it.

“The base part of the program is easy to follow. And one-on-one coaching makes life so much easier because you have someone you can get real-time feedback from,” said Ashley. “Having someone trained in the program to say, ‘You did great, but let's do it more like this, because that will give you the desired outcome you're looking for.’”

“Ashley is an amazing mother and supportive wife. And she had all the tools,” said Nelly. “She's sweet, smart, empathetic and interested in her family’s well-being. She just needed a little help to manage some challenging behaviors better.”

Mike worked night shifts and was unable to attend the sessions, but he was an integral part of the journey. Ashley would share her learnings with him. And, together, they implemented the strategies as a team. "Part of the success is that they worked together and were on the same page," said Nelly.

Targeted Parenting Strategies

The Triple P Program aimed to help Ashley and Mike better understand Kimber’s behavior. It provided them with the tools to respond effectively.

One of the key strategies they adopted was the use of descriptive praise. Nelly described this by explaining, “Instead of saying, ‘Thank you for bringing the dishes to me,’ you say, ‘Whoa, you know what? This really makes a big difference because we're working as a team, and you brought the dishes without being asked. Thank you for doing that. I don't need to work so much tonight, thanks to you.’”

This shift in communication helped Kimber feel appreciated. And it reinforced positive behavior.

Ashley also learned that Kimber didn’t just need to be involved in making choices, but she also needed simple directions for her choices. “She's more than happy to make a choice, but it has to be a very simple instruction to make that choice to do it,” said Ashley.

The family also created a list of family rules that they keep posted on the fridge. Kimber, unknowingly, became an active participant in her own transformation. At her grandpa’s birthday party, amid the chaos of everyone talking at once, Kimber confidently raised her hand. When called upon, she declared, "Rule number one is one person talks at a time. No interrupting."

Her confidence highlighted her understanding of family rules. And her role in keeping them.

As the sessions progressed, Ashley and Mike began to see amazing improvements in Kimber’s behavior. After just one week, they saw no major outbursts or tantrums. And she was excelling at following the family rules.

Meaningful Moments

Nelly said one of the most heartwarming aspects of Ashley's journey was the emphasis on quality time. Ashley found that spending time with Kimber on her terms made a big difference. She also now knew how to approach it when it wasn't possible to give immediate attention.

“Give your attention,” said Ashley, “but if you’re doing something, give your attention when you're finished doing that.”

In the beginning, Ashley felt she would often respond with a simple “good job” or “I’ll be there in a minute.” Now, when Kimber shows Ashley a drawing she did, for example, Ashley begins a meaningful conversation with her.

Ashley said, “I would have her come closer to me and say, ‘Oh, my gosh, you did such a wonderful job. Look at how you colored her hair. And look at what you did with the surfboard. I love all the colors. Can you tell me which colors from the box you used?’”

By highlighting Kimber's strengths and offering clear choices and rules, Ashley and Mike created a supportive space that encouraged positive behavior. This not only helped Kimber, but it also strengthened their family bond.

“We’re hugging each other a lot more,” said Ashley. “There’s a lot more unprompted saying, ‘I love you,’ throughout the day, not just when she goes to bed or in the morning.”

"The one thing that's really beautiful about this program is the fact that everything was there. I just needed Nelly to point it out to me and nudge me in the right direction,” said Ashley. “We had so much success, leaps and bounds. Because of having a third party point it out to you and give you the gentle nudge to change very small things, it made everybody better all around.”