The tween and teenage years can be a struggle, thanks to all the physical, emotional and social changes happening during this time. As a caregiver, you have the important responsibility of guiding your child through these years, which includes supporting their mental health. 

How you address mental health with your middle or high schooler can play a big role in their well-being over time. Below, learn more about how to support your tween or teen’s mental health, and when it’s a good idea to reach out for support. 

Conversations About Mental Health Are Essential

Your tween or teen may cringe when you bring up mental health or dismiss the discussion altogether — but don’t skip these uncomfortable-but-important conversations. Being proactive in discussing tougher topics like depression, self-harm and suicide not only helps your child understand these things but sets the stage for them to come to you if they’re struggling in the future.

Encourage honest conversations by asking open-ended questions about their feelings, experiences and friendships. For example, instead of asking, “How was school today?” try, “What was the best and worst part of your day?” This approach invites deeper sharing.

Creating a Safe Space Builds Trust

If you want your tween or teen to open up to you about challenges, how you respond to them when they share their feelings or experiences is critical. Aim to be non-judgmental when your child tells you something, even if it’s small — and try not to overreact when they share something vulnerable or upsetting. They’ll feel safer sharing with you in the future if they know you’ll listen without judging them.

Tween and Teen Development Can Create Changes in Mood and Behavior

Changing hormones and increased demands and responsibilities can lead to complex emotions in middle and high schoolers, culminating in mood swings. You may notice your child lashing out more at home, skipping out on family activities or having more conflict with friends. These ups and downs can be difficult to deal with, but often, they’re typical for the tween and teen-age group. Acknowledging these changes can help you approach your teen's actions with patience and compassion.

Being Aware of Digital Influences Is Key

In today’s digital age, social media plays a huge role in the lives of teens. While these platforms can foster connection, they can also contribute to anxiety and self-esteem issues due to the constant comparison to peers. Stay informed about the social media platforms your teen uses and discuss their experiences online.

Encourage critical thinking about the content they consume, reminding them that not everything portrayed online is an accurate reflection of reality. Setting healthy boundaries for device usage can also help mitigate stress from digital interactions.

Certain Behaviors Could Signify a Bigger Issue

Given the big changes involved with this critical developmental period, it’s important to distinguish between “normal” tween and teen behavior and potential symptoms of mental health conditions. In general, look for changes in baseline behavior that persist for more than a few weeks. In a child with anxiety or depression, you may notice drastic changes in sleep, eating or social habits, or an increase in physical complaints like headaches and stomach aches. These may all be signs to reach out for support. Of course, if your child makes any statement about feeling worthless, hopeless or not having a reason to live, reach out to a mental health provider or your child’s Pediatrician right away. 

You Are the Expert on Your Child

It’s easy to dismiss concerns as a phase or delay important conversations, hoping behaviors will change. When it comes to your child’s mental health, trust your gut. Ultimately, you know your tween or teen best — so if you feel like something isn’t right, don’t hesitate to talk to your child or contact a professional for support. 

Your Child’s Pediatrician Is Your Best Resource

Parenting a tween or teen experiencing a mental health struggle can be difficult and overwhelming, but there are many helpful resources available. Whether you want to learn how to support your child’s mental health as they grow or need support with an existing concern, reach out to their primary care provider. Pediatricians are experts in tween and teen development and can help you navigate these uncharted waters and refer you to a mental health provider if needed.

At Children’s Wisconsin, we understand that a child’s mental health is just as important as their physical health. That’s why we take a comprehensive, family-centered approach to care. At all Children’s Wisconsin primary care offices, Behavioral Health Consultants work alongside our Pediatricians to support the mental and behavioral health of children from infancy through young adulthood.