You’re not alone — how to involve your partner with a new baby

As a new mom, it’s easy to feel like everything that needs to be done is piling up and solely on your shoulders. This can especially happen if you’re breastfeeding or pumping breast milk to feed your baby as the little one depends even more heavily on you. But you’re not alone. You have people in your life that want to help! As difficult as it can be sometimes, it’s important that you share the day-to-day responsibilities and give yourself a break, especially if you have a partner in the house.

Here are a few ideas for getting your partner involved:

Nursery

Even before a baby arrives, having help setting up the nursery can be key. Assembling furniture, especially while pregnant, is never easy. Plus, when the baby comes, you’ll want your partner to know where everything is so they’re better able to help locate that one cream you need while your hands are busy feeding the little one.

Feedings

If you’re pumping or using formula, mealtimes are an opportunity to share responsibility and give your partner a chance to bond with the baby. Plan to have your partner take a specific feeding during the evening so you can try to get some extra sleep. Those quiet middle-of-the-night feedings can be truly special and important for your partner as well.

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Burping

After feeding, your baby will need to be held and burped. This is a perfect chance for someone to jump in and help! Your partner can hold, play with or even wear the baby after being fed to keep the baby upright. It also helps add in some bonding time between the little one and your partner.

Walks and playing

It’s important for babies to get outside for some fresh air and to spend time playing as these can help them experience new sensations and develop new skills. If your partner can take your baby for regular walks or be in charge of nightly playtimes, they can get some bonding in while you get a break.

Skin to skin

Time spent skin to skin with your baby is important for many reasons, including the baby’s temperature, heart and breathing rates, and blood sugar. But there’s no reason that skin to skin time has to be only with you. Having your partner spend some time lounging with the baby skin to skin can give you a break and add some important bonding time for them.

Dressing

Oftentimes, if baby needs to be dressed in a cute outfit, it means you’re heading out of the house or having visitors and you’ll want a few minutes to yourself to get ready as well. Putting your partner in charge of dressings gives you just a couple additional minutes to yourself, plus it can be pretty cute to see which outfits your partner chooses for your new baby.

Evening routine

If your partner is at work during the day, the evening routine is a great way for them to have designated time with your baby. Your baby will learn to count on your partner to be there for bath and story time, and it’s important for your baby’s health! Bath time is important for exposing your baby to new sensations, while reading is key for your baby’s brain development.

Let them do it their way

No matter how your partner jumps in to help, let them figure it out and do it their own way. Sure, you may have a more efficient way to do that one task or have found that your baby enjoys a certain way of getting it done, but rather than correcting everything they’re doing, try to relax while they experiment with their own methods. They’ll figure it out and you’ll eventually feel less like everything lies on your shoulders.

Jessica De Valk, MD Pediatrician Franklin Pediatrics

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