First dates, first kisses … and a first breakup. Your teen’s relationship heartbreak is a rite of passage just like getting their driver’s license or first job. Adolescence is a time of rapid emotional growth, self-discovery and exploration of new relationships. Teens often experience intense emotions, and heartbreak can feel overwhelming and confusing. While it’s painful, there are ways to help your teen navigate through it and find their footing again.
Allow Time To Grieve
Breaking up is like losing something important. It’s okay for your teen to feel sad. They might experience a wild mix of emotions — sadness, anger, confusion or even relief. Allow them to feel these emotions without judgement (yours or their own). Suggest keeping a journal where they can write down their thoughts and feelings. It’s a great way to make sense of all those swirling emotions. Remind them it’s normal to cry or talk about the good moments alongside the pain — it’s all part of the process.
Lean On Friends and Family
During tough times, friends and family can be your teen’s biggest support. Of course, you want your teen to feel comfortable talking with you. But you can also encourage them to reach out to friends or another trusted adult to share what they’re feeling. Let your teen know that opening up to others strengthens connections. It also reminds them that they have people who care about them. Not to mention, it’s no fun for anyone to go through a difficult situation alone. Allow your teen to host a get-together with friends, like a movie night or game night, to enjoy some quality time and shift their attention away from their sadness.
{A9A46357-E630-4BC7-9DA6-C8F08ECB93B8}
Practice Self-Care
Encourage your teen to take good care of their physical and mental well-being during this time. Setting aside time each day for self-care — anything from going for a run, to meditating or diving into a good book — can help your teen feel happy and relaxed. It’s also important for your teen to eat well and get plenty of sleep. Self-care can help lift your teen’s mood and make everything feel a little easier.
Create New Routines
Adjusting to life after a breakup often means your teen will need to rethink their daily routine so they’re not constantly running into or reminded of their ex. This is the perfect time for your teen to establish some new habits. They can try out a new hobby, join a club or even explore new cafés or parks. Keeping busy with new activities can help your teen feel more grounded and provide some excitement amid the chaos of their emotions.
Set Boundaries With Their Ex
In addition to creating some new routines, it’s also a good idea for your teen to set boundaries with their ex. Staying in contact can make it harder to heal. Encourage your teen to give themselves some space by limiting communication with their ex or taking a break from social media. This time apart can help your teen process their feelings better and allow them to heal without additional complications. Your teen can set a specific time period for this break and reassess their feelings afterward.
Reflect on the Relationship
It’s also important for your teen to reflect on the past relationship. What worked? What didn’t? Writing a list of qualities they want in a future partner can help them process the experience and learn and grow from it.
Don’t Hesitate To Seek Help
If your teen is having a hard time moving on, it’s okay to ask for help from a professional. Talking to a school counselor or a therapist can provide your teen with different coping strategies and create a safe space for them to explore their feelings. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Behavioral health consultants are available at all Children’s Wisconsin primary care offices. An access navigator can help you find the right resources and specialist for your child. You can reach the access navigator team at (414) 266-3339. For children experiencing urgent mental health issues, Children’s Wisconsin offers two mental health walk-in clinics for same-day care.
Look Forward to the Future
As your teen starts to heal, encourage them to shift their focus to the future by setting small, achievable goals. Allowing themselves to imagine what’s next can bring excitement and hope back into their lives and believe that there are brighter days ahead.
Witnessing your teen go through a breakup can feel gut-wrenching. But remember, it’s a journey many of us have experienced and they will get through it. You can help them through this difficult time by serving as a safe person for them to talk to, validating their emotions, and encouraging healthy coping mechanisms.
